HAPPY MARRIAGE: THE LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

my man wants to be a great husband but sometimes he doubts himself and needs appreciation. if i make my husband feel appreciated, i get the most from him in return.

 

for her new book, the surprising secrets of highly happy marriages: the little things that make a big difference, author shaunti feldhahn studied more than 1,000 married couples to find out what the happiest ones had in common.

according to feldhahn's research, five simple gestures can lead to marital bliss.

notice his effort and sincerely thank him for it.

"most of us think grateful thoughts but don't actually say thank you," feldhahn says. "in my survey, this mattered to nearly all men, with 72 percent saying it deeply pleased them when their wife or girlfriend gave them props for their hard work. in fact, 'thank you' appeared to be the guy's equivalent of 'i love you.'"

tell him he did a great job.

if saying thank you will warm his heart, saying 'you did a great job' will melt him. inside that oh-so-confident manly exterior, they are still those young boys anxiously hoping their mom likes the vase they made at school. complimenting a man on a job well done has a huge emotional impact.

talk about what a great guy he is.

feeling inadequate is excruciating to a man. never let him hear you complain about him to friends or family. instead, when you're out at dinner with other couples, tell them how he pulled off an amazing surprise party for your birthday, or gush about how he always takes the kids out on saturday mornings so you can sleep in. he may act like it's no big deal, but on the inside he loves it.

let him know that you want him—and that he pleases you.

"you probably won't be shocked when i tell you that men love sex," feldhahn says. "but you may be surprised to know a main reason is emotional, not physical. in a very deep way, a guy needs to know that his wife desires him. even better, he wants to know that he pleases her. so don't just be willing - be enthusiastic. even simply initiating sex once in a while says 'i want you' and touches your husband far more than physically."

let him know he makes you happy.

"eighty-eight percent of the guys said that it melted their hearts when their wife expressed that he made her happy," says feldhahn. how to do it: "a big smile when he walks in the door, a spontaneous hug when he says something sweet, or even saying 'you make me happy' tells him he's doing well at this relationship thing - and makes him want to do even better."

 

marriage advice for husbands:

 

hold her hand.

it seems like such a simple gesture - something that couldn't possibly matter that much. but it does matter. holding a woman's hand subconsciously communicates that your relationship is in a good spot and that you're feeling connected to her. so reach for her hand while you're crossing the parking lot - and say a lot without saying a word.

 

send a message that you're thinking of her.

the next time you're checking sports scores on your phone (under your desk, out of the boss's line of vision), take a second to text or email your wife. it says she's on your mind even when your mind is on a million other things during the day. women feel extra loved when their husband or boyfriend takes the time to quickly text 'thinking about how much i love you' or a similar message.

pull yourself out of a funk instead of withdrawing.

there are some times when a man needs space, but be careful how far you pull away. your 'mood' doesn't impact just you: it can make your wife or girlfriend feel insecure about how you feel. making an effort to pull yourself out of that funk and not giving her the cold shoulder reassures your wife at a very deep level.

 

physically connect with her in public.

next time you're out at dinner with friends, put your arm around your wife, or rest one hand on her knee. women love this type of gesture—it says, 'i love that you're mine.'

 

tell her she's beautiful.

never assume your wife knows that you think she's beautiful. women need to hear it, it has a big emotional impact. sure, it's always nice to receive a compliment, but a compliment from you means something much deeper. plus, when someone speaks positively to you, it makes you more positive toward the other person.'

 

www.glamour.com

SEVEN SECRETS ABOUT MARRIAGE.

when i was younger, i’ve been dreaming about my wedding day. i was wondering what will married life be… we know married couples who have a beautiful relationship and we want to be like them, or we see spoiled marriages and say “we’ll never make the same mistakes…”

we all have an idea of what marriage is all about. we have dreams, hopes and expectations of what it will look like. but we don’t really know until we’re there, do we?

there are so many things in marriage i could have never fully imagined.

here are 7 things i have learned about it:

1. marriage is very-very intimate

why did we get married? because we wanted to share our lives with each other in a very intimate way. as humans we yearn to be close to another, to be fully known, and despite this, to be unconditionally loved. intimacy usually involves being honest with each other and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. because you know your spouse well and trust him/her not to hurt you. before marriage, i don’t think i grasped the real intimacy that comes with committing to this one person for the rest of my life. marriage is an amazing opportunity to allow another person a look inside your life, your mind, your heart and your very soul. now that is true intimacy.

2. marriage reveals selfishness

i didn’t know how selfish i was until i got married. things like apologizing and putting peter’s needs before my own are not so easy. it may seem difficult to put your needs aside and focus entirely on your spouse’s, but that trust and commitment is what will strengthen your relationship and allow you to feel and express love. this idea works best if both spouses are serving each other equally. my own saying about marriage is: ‘a good marriage is made up of a thousand small kindnesses.’

3. oneness literally means one

of all the mysteries of marriage, oneness strikes me as the deepest and most beautiful. one house. one bed. one bathroom. one mirror above the bathroom sink. one bank account. one budget… in marriage, you learn to let go of the “mine and yours” mentality, because everything is truly “ours.” there’s something really hard, but something really beautiful about that.

recently i talked to an engaged couple who described their relationship in delighted tones: "it's as if we're on the same wavelength about everything! we think the same way, have the same way of doing things, share the same dreams. it's amazing!" …i think, if this is oneness, it won't last. true oneness is based on the differences. one partner is a man, the other a woman, and that's just the beginning. one is sociable, the other reclusive; one likes a thick quilt for sleeping, the other a light blanket. and so on… how can two such opposites ever be one? might as well ask how a glove fits a hand. oneness arises from differences fitting together, from contrasts corresponding.

4. at some point, you will be disappointed

this one was a hard reality. my husband and i love each other deeply, but sometimes we also hurt each other deeply. when you allow someone to bury their heart in yours, there’s no doubt that one day, you will feel an ache. whether in the form of an unkind word, a thoughtless action or a selfish moment, marriage will hurt. each wound is a reminder of our need to love better and more deeply.

5. you will learn the meaning of forgiveness

the truth is, you lose a part of yourself within the glory of marriage. you exchange a little bit of who you are for a little bit of who your spouse is. you learn to give and take. you learn to let go of the things that don’t really matter. and in the end, you realize what you’ve given is far less than what you’ve ultimately received. love is good like that.

6. marriage will require you to learn how to communicate

no matter what your communication bent, marriage will require you to take a good hard look at your opinions, beliefs, ideas and feelings - and share them with another. it will cause you to answer the hard questions and speak the difficult truths. communication is the lifeline between two people. it will cause you to take responsibility for not just what you say, but how you say it - tone, body language, sarcasm and all. i have to admit, it’s very hard for me, i have still so much to learn. (i’m planning to write a post about this topic…)

7. love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a series of decisions

before marriage, you wear pink glasses and pink headphones… it seems to you that your feelings are getting stronger with each day. then one day you realize that feelings can’t really be trusted, because some days you feel you may not even like each other. feelings come, but feelings also go. the test of real love is what you do when you don’t feel like loving. marriage is constantly choosing to love, to give and to serve because of the commitment you have made. it’s choosing the other instead of choosing yourself. and here comes selflessness – you have to serve each other equally.

 

1 YEAR TOGETHER...

one year ago on a sunny saturday i married peter, and still more amazing than
that - he married me. 

now, one year later, today is our first anniversary and like many events in life you relish, it feels like our wedding day was just last month, i remember it so vividly.  

this year has been the most incredible year of my life...

even this year was full of beautiful moments, i have to admit: first year of marriage was hard. very hard. not because we'd made a mistake, not because i regretted the decision, not because i wanted out. even though i was sure we'd chosen right and wanted in – it was still hard.

we may have been in love, but we hadn't yet begun to learn how to love one another well. we hadn't yet begun to learn that beyond the declarations of love and commitment comes the daily study of learning what your spouse likes, and deeper than that – how your spouse thinks.

i cried. a lot. tears of frustration. tears of pain. tears of despair...

there was no particular problem that made it hard. it wasn’t that we were mismatched. it was more just that it was painful to figure out the changes. i think the most honest thing i'm able to say about that first year is that it was a "big adjustment". and it has to be!

 

imagine, that you are a student, who gets the chance to spent a year in a foreign country, for example japan... you prepare as best you could but still experience culture shock upon arrival. japan is not slovakia. everything seems different: the money, the people, the food, everything.
getting married is like moving to a foreign country. you will experience some culture shock. you and your husband won't always speak the same language.
your first year of married life might be one of the most difficult you'll ever face. it takes time to adjust to your new "culture". in time, the shock will wear off, and you'll begin to feel at home. you'll even forget what life was like in your "old country"! :)


a new marriage is much like a newly planted garden. it has great potential for the future if it is well cared for. just as a garden grows, so can a marriage relationship. it can start with excitement, happiness, joy and anticipation. with time, marriage can bring satisfaction, peace, comfort, contentment and pride.

peter, you are my everything...
every day our marriage becomes more special, with every passing moment i find you more adorable. every day seems to bring more and more happiness, and memories that are priceless. every day i thank my fate for giving you as my husband. men like you are quite a few these days. you are amazing, you are handsome, you care about me so much. our marriage has been a roller coaster ride, in which you have always held me tightly...

i am lucky to be your wife.
happy anniversary!

DIY EASTER DECORATON.

easter is just sitting around the corner... who is ready for spring? me! me me! is there really anything more beautiful then trees and flowers in bloom? i love the bright green grass, the sun kissing my shoulders, and the gentle cool breezes…

with spring around the corner we also get the easter holiday. so today i am sharing a great easter wreath idea.

you will need: 
     -  cardboard 

     -  scissors 

     -  needle & thread / glue gun 

     -  ribbons 

     -  felt

 

 

 

this is in our room, it's so cute ^^

 

Easter is just sitting around the corner.. “teasing us”….who is ready for spring? Me! Me Me! Is there really anything more beautiful then trees and flowers in bloom? I love the bright green grass, the sun kissing my shoulders, and the gentle cool breezes… I am day dreaming of spring time dresses, painted toes with sandals, yummy salads, and much more. I just love it all.

With spring around the corner we also get the lovely Easter Holiday. So today I am sharing a round up of 15 Great Easter Wreath Idea

- See more at: http://spilled-glitter.com/15-beautiful-diy-easter-wreath-ideas/#sthash.vyeI0cfd.dpuf

Easter is just sitting around the corner.. “teasing us”….who is ready for spring? Me! Me Me! Is there really anything more beautiful then trees and flowers in bloom? I love the bright green grass, the sun kissing my shoulders, and the gentle cool breezes… I am day dreaming of spring time dresses, painted toes with sandals, yummy salads, and much more. I just love it all.

With spring around the corner we also get the lovely Easter Holiday. So today I am sharing a round up of 15 Great Easter Wreath Idea

- See more at: http://spilled-glitter.com/15-beautiful-diy-easter-wreath-ideas/#sthash.vyeI0cfd.dpuf

Easter is just sitting around the corner.. “teasing us”….who is ready for spring? Me! Me Me! Is there really anything more beautiful then trees and flowers in bloom? I love the bright green grass, the sun kissing my shoulders, and the gentle cool breezes… I am day dreaming of spring time dresses, painted toes with sandals, yummy salads, and much more. I just love it all.

With spring around the corner we also get the lovely Easter Holiday. So today I am sharing a round up of 15 Great Easter Wreath Idea

- See more at: http://spilled-glitter.com/15-beautiful-diy-easter-wreath-ideas/#sthash.vyeI0cfd.dpuf

LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS.

on april 20th my husband and i will be celebrating our first wedding anniversary. the first year of marriage is worth celebrating because it means we got through one of the most difficult years of marriage. it's also a chance to look back at your wedding day and assess how far you've come as a couple - and where you're going.
before our marriage, we lived in a long distance relationship. i must admit that this thing was not easy. but we have found that there are keys to keeping the romance alive, if both parties are willing and determined to make it work. 

once i wrote a post abou long distance relationships on my old blog. i would like to share it with you. it may help those who are in long distance relationships but also those in "ordinary" relationships...
if you follow these advices, you will be on the road to making your relationship last.

• define your relationship
  one of the first things you should do with your long-distance sweetheart is to agree on what the relationship will be going forward: both of you want a real and solid love affair? determining limits is one of the most inportant things. it will help ground the two of you if you know the boundaries of your relationship.
• dont´s for any LDR
  1. don’t rush things.
  you have only been together with your long distance boyfriend/gf for a week or a month, and you think he/she should be okay with your high expectations? rather be patient.
  2. don’t expect your bf/gf to always be reachable.
  don´t panic if they don’t answer their phone - it doesn’t mean it is a giveaway that your partner is cheating or ignoring you. he/she might be too busy to answer the phone or the phone is in a different room and your partner doesn’t hear it.
  3. don’t put yourself in situations where cheating might actually be tempting.
  although people in long distance relationships don’t cheat any more than people in same city relationships, cheating continues to be a big concern in LDRs. don’t hang around others that you know are into you or that you were interested in before you started dating your long distance bf/gf. don´t put yourself in any situation that might be suspicious if your gf/bf found out about it. you will save yourself a lot of trouble.
  4. don’t lie.
  tell your gf/bf where are you going out and with who, tell the truth about why you didn´t answer their phone, etc. lies are mostly come to light and then you may seem untrustworthy.
  5. don’t let them control your life, and don’t control theirs.
  for example, if you do not want to go to study to a school which is nearer to you bf/gf home, then don´t go just because he/she begs for that. or don´t want your bf/gf to do nice things for you. do nice things for them first. don’t make them do them. make them WANT to do them.
  6. do not have a “break.”
  i personally don't think having a break helps any relationship. nothing gets "fixed" and you return to the relationship with the same issues because you didn't work on them together; all you did was avoid them. problems have to be sorted out together… not apart. being able to successfully work out problems is a test for every relationship, and something you need to be able to do as a couple.
• trust each other don´t distrust someone, unless they have given you a reason to not trust them. have they cheated on you before? if not, then trust them. it´s that simple.
• respect your partner
  many people aren’t showing their partner as much respect as they should be.
  when the relationship is suffering, the feelings of the partner are overlooked, and you are only thinking about yourself - all you say is “me, me, me, me…” you may expect your partner to fulfill your every need and you feel that it is their right. now listen, your partner is only human they can only do so much and it would be impossible for them to meet your every expectation. they have lives outside of your relationship, just as you do, or should. when you feel you have been wronged in some way in your relationship, have an open mind – try to see things from your partner’s point of view. how would you feel if you were on the other side? you may come to realize that you may react or do the same as them, or at least you will be able to understand why they react they way they do. many times people will feel that their boyfriend or girlfriend does not care about them as much as they used to. this could be for various reasons. when their phone conversations become limited or short, people will feel that their bf/gf do not want to talk; they are the ones that stopped doing special things. but maybe they just feel there is not much to talk about and when they do get on the phone with you, you yourself don’t have much to say. maybe they stopped doing special things, because you don’t hardly ever return the favor.
  always take into consideration your partner’s feelings. you need to respect their their feelings before you attack them with words such as, “you don’t care about me anymore.” that can really hurt. so think about them next time and respect their feelings, by recognizing them and trying to do something about it, instead of expecting them to.
• be patient
  this one is tough! i personally am not a patient girl, and one of the hardest things for me in my LDR has been the waiting. i recommend that you find things to do here at home to occupy your time. if your career or your studies do not keep you busy enough, find a new hobby or maybe get involved in some volunteer work. the key is to avoid weighing down your long-distance conversations with whining or unrealistic demands because you are bored or missing the other person.
• give encouragement
  this one is so important. when you are in a LDR you may miss the supporting kisses or hugs from you loved one. so your partner does. therefore it is important to support your other half at least with encouraging words. it really helps a lot. i used to encourage my fiance when he is tired of studying or he doesn´t believe in himself. i´m learning to admire him as many times as possible. i´m also trying to let him know i am proud of him. he helps me a lot, too. when i was down, and unsuccessfully trying to prepare for my exams, it makes him feel good to be able to assist me. also he always encourages me when things aren´t going well, because he´s a big optimist.
  encouragement, assistance and praise work well over email, too. it's also a good idea to "smile over the phone" as much as possible. a good mood from you on days when your partner may be feeling especially needy can make both of you feel better. (thats one thing i´m no table to do when i´m in a bad mood. it´s sad...)
• do things to make your partner feel special
  try to think of something you can do everyday to show your partner that you care. this can be as little as saying “i love you.” or, “i love talking to you.” or even, “you make me happy.” those little things will make them feel great and it will give them reassurance.
• keep learning about each other
  do you feel sometimes you just don’t know what to talk about anymore? keeping the spark can be hard to do once a relationship’s newness has worn off. long distance couples use the phone/webcam a lot and have written hundreds of emails. what more can there possibly be to talk about? i can assure you, that there are things you don’t know about your partner, and you just haven’t realized it yet.
  sometimes our phone calls with p. were boring because we didn’t know what to say, except for the usual things going on in our lives. at the beginning of our relationship we were having interesting, intellectual debates, lasting long hours (9 hrs the longest) but nowadays because of the lack of time we ended to have such conversations.
  we found and downloaded an e-book, called 1000 Questions for Couples. i read some comments about it, and many people said it helped them tremendously. we haven´t discussed any of the questions yet, but as i saw, once they might be very useful and i think some of the questions might give us hours of conversation. :)
• plan for a future don’t enter a long distance relationship if you aren’t willing to have your life changed drastically. a relationship cannot remain long distance forever. a couple that has entered a long distance relationship must agree that they are in a committed relationship.
• communicate at a regular, but reasonable frequency some couples will talk for several hours per day. that isn’t right for everyone, in fact, that is quite extreme. but communicating once every couple of weeks is also extreme. if you can, try to communicate on a daily basis, and then figure out a reasonable amount of time you can each spend on the phone. some people’s lives may be busier than others, so the amount of communication in relationship can vary. consider not just your own schedule, but also your partner’s. at least call each day to say “goodnight.”
• don’t be afraid to show you’re afraid don’t be afraid to share insecurities or ask the questions you want to ask. communication should be open. your boyfriend/girlfriend is the best person to answer your questions or give you reassurance about any insecurity you may have about your relationship.
• don’t forget you have a life
  for some personalities, it can be easy to become consumed by your relationship. long distance relationships can consume a good amount of your time, but don’t lose your connections with other people in the process. make sure your long distance love life is balanced with your everyday life at home. it’s okay to tell friends “no” every once in a while when they ask you to go out with them if you are planning to spend time with your long distance boyfriend/girlfriend, but don’t say no every time. At the same time, don’t always choose your friends over your bf/gf.
• do have date nights
  set aside time for a date night every week. watch a movie together, eat the same meal, find things to do to interact online, or just chat it up for a longer amount of time than usual. just because you’re far away doesn’t mean you can’t have a date.
• other things you can do…
  send a handwritten letter, email a picture of yourself to them, send a small gift, take an interest in their interests. for example, maybe you saw an article online that you think they would enjoy reading. send it to them! having constant reassurance that you care about them and think about them all the time will mean a lot. this is something so simple to do. it’s actually so simple that once a couple feels comfortable and settled in their relationship they tend to forget how important it is to do these little things for their partner.
• lastly…remember the reason you are in this relationship. you love each other! and if you have love, then you can’t let distance destroy that. if you can overcome this, and make it to a point where you can finally live in the same home, then you will be able to overcome many other challenges you may face in the future. so for now, enjoy the small but great benefits that long distance can offer to your relationship including sweet reunions and better communication.
  
  
  xoxo